Inertia
by feisu-chan
Summary: Every body will persist in its state of rest or of uniform motion in a straight line unless it is compelled to change that state by forces impressed on it. And Abarai Renji glanced her way; he understood.


**INERTIA

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_Every body will persist in its state of rest or of uniform motion in a straight line unless it is compelled to change that state by forces impressed on it. And Abarai Renji glanced her way; he understood.

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It had been Abarai Renji's one wish to turn back time.

In his youth, when he had his young eyes exposed in old evils of the Rukongai, it had been Abarai Renji's one wish to stop time.

For despite his sad childhood, he had reveled in her simple smile as the sunset illuminated her and created penumbras to carve her perfect little face, and her robe clung to her thighs as she gathered the flowers that floated down the river. And to freeze her smile as the sun set was enough to let him live for a lifetime.

But he couldn't stop time, nor could he keep her smile to himself.

For she had grown and moved on and he was stuck wishing that the photographed memories etched in fading sepia would once again move in vibrant colors of black tresses, porcelain skin and violet eyes, and to move in his favor.

"How are you feeling, Renji?" she asked, her voice was casual, and yet he couldn't help but note the genuine concern in her tone.

"Shitty."

"Baka, you always feel shitty." She moved closer and straightened the sheets that covered him. His chest was bandaged up, his feet casted.

The Winter War had just ended. The traitors had retreated, leaving a devastated Seretei and Karakura in their wake.

Renji looked away and watched the blue skies from his window, not liking the awkward silence that started to dawn upon them once in a while.

"You shouldn't have done that," she whispered. And he knew that there was no escaping this conversation anymore. Unless he pretended to be sleeping…. Yes, yes! He could do that. But knowing her, she would use kidou to wake him up.

"Done what?" She punched him slightly on the chest; in response, he cringed as she hit the exact wound.

"Stop being the hero."

He just scoffed. "Whatever you say." And he continued watching the skies while she quietly watched him.

It was unfair, he thought, that she didn't want him to be risking his life for her when she would do it for _him_ over and over again.

She had immediately jumped in front of Ichigo when Aizen shunpoed to his blind spot. Seeing this, Renji instinctively blocked that cero intended for her.

And he ended up nearly paralyzed.

But he didn't mind. It was better him than her. She may not need it, his protection in shining armor, but he'd gladly do it over and over.

Because he felt secure knowing she's safe. And in her safety and sheepish laugh could he genuinely rest.

"Don't foolishly throw your life away."

"It wasn't foolish," he countered. Nor would he consider it as throwing his life away. "I don't find what you did foolish."

"Eh?"

He still refused to look at her. "You'd put your life on the line for _him_. I'd do the same for you."

If only he was looking, he would have witnessed her struggle to hide that stupid scandalized look off her face.

"Renji…"

Dense, he bitterly thought. She should have known, shouldn't she? For all the years he was with her, it was rather inevitable for him to feel responsible for her life. It wasn't really compulsory, but he'd take on that responsibility any time.

"How is he?" he asked, changing the subject as he turned to face her. He saw her eyes darted down to the floor, thinking of words to say.

"Not so good…" He was unconscious for a week now, she said; and his condition didn't improve. Unohana-taichou had monitored him every three hours, to no avail.

"If he wakes up, I'll punch him dead!" And Renji didn't miss that hopeful glow in her eyes, or that wistful grin on the side of her lips.

He didn't miss the shift in her aura each time she talked about _him_ – whether she cursed _him_ to hell or praised _him_.

And Renji often wondered if she ever talked about him the same way she talked about _him_ to anyone.

Maybe not.

It's not the same now.

If he had told her the news of his promotion before she went to the human world, would she have hurried back home to celebrate with him?

Or if he had asked her not to accept the adoption to the noble family, would she have taken a second to think about it and chose him instead?

If he had been there for her on those nightmares and monstrous screams, would she have grieved less and needed him more?

Maybe not.

And it sucked so bad that he couldn't turn back time, only stuck guessing what could have been.

But what's the use of turning back the stupid hands of time when he had learned that she looked more beautiful with hydrangeas glimmering in dew as they reminisce the memories of the soft rain?

And he knew she belonged to _him_.

Yet he was unable to stop.

Until now.

"Go," he ordered, interrupting her narration. He wasn't listening, anyway. He was just watching her talk about _him_. How her eyes had picked every light in the room, or how that lips tilt to kiss the air, or how her fingers quiver as she mentioned _his_ name, or bit the insides of her cheeks as she suddenly got lost in thought.

"What?"

"Go, baka. Don't you feel that?"

"What?"

"His reiatsu. It spiked. So, go." Her eyes filled her face again, and her breath hitched to create a lump in her throat. There she went again, doing that stupid thing with her stupid face that stupidly made his stupid insides churn and his stupid heart yearn for her.

"He'd wake up soon. Be there to prick his eyes out!" She laughed.

"I'll bring you food later!" She said, as she walked towards the door.

There were words he had refused to say before, like that time when he lied how happy he was for her when the Kuchiki clan decided to adopt her. But there were also times that Renji knew sometimes she could be a clueless airhead, and he'd just had to step up and tell her – despite the dangers of being beaten up again by her kidou or her sheath or merely her fists.

"Oi!" His voice caused her to stop midway from turning the knob open. "Make sure _he'd_ play hero for you!"

He hesitated, but then continued. "You still deserve to have someone look after you." Of course, he knew she'd flip over his words. After all, she was a proud shinigami who could take care of herself and take on anybody else.

But at the end of the day, Kuchiki Rukia was worth a hundred lives, and it's a comforting thought to know one would just protect her with his life. Even if that someone wasn't him.

"Renji, you ass, I'd do it for you a million times over, even if it kills me each time."

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**AN: **I know, i know... I have other fics to finish! *scrams and writes in a corner*

Renji in angst mode makes me blush tomatoes and cherries! *hugs Renji and pats his loose hair* :3

**Chemiskorpion0002**, thanks for beta-ing this fic. But I just can't make a romantic story for Renji and Rukia, or for any fandom... *sasuke laugh* I suck at fluff!

Enjoy~~ :3


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